Trying to keep up with others is the surest route to failure. How can you build self-confidence based on facts and Gallup’s talents?

Returning from an industry conference, scrolling through a LinkedIn feed full of ‘tomorrow’s leaders’, or reading yet another book on management – these are the moments when many managers fall into the same trap. They start comparing their inner turmoil with others’ outward display of success.

Thoughts arise:

“I should be more charismatic”,

“I need to make decisions faster”,

“I should build relationships like that director does”.

In my work with leaders at BeLeadful, I often observe the same pattern. Trying to be a better version of someone else very rarely leads to more effective leadership. It usually ends in exhaustion, a loss of self-confidence and a feeling that one’s management style is inconsistent.

That is why we are increasingly returning to a simple question: what should a leader actually base their self-confidence on?

More and more managers are discovering that a more stable foundation lies not in external inspiration, but in data on how their own way of thinking and decision-making works. Such data is provided by the CliftonStrengths methodology and Gallup’s talents.

Why a leader’s confidence disappears under pressure

Many leaders feel confident as long as the situation in the company is stable. When the team is meeting its targets and decisions do not cause tension, it is easy to maintain a sense of control. The problem arises when the pressure mounts: a project is delayed, conflict arises within the team, or a difficult decision needs to be made.

It is at such moments that we see what a leader’s confidence is really based on.

What foundation do leaders build their confidence upon?

It is often based on external signals:

• Team successes
• Positive feedback from superiors
• The absence of conflict

This only works for so long. When a more difficult situation arises, the leader begins to question their own decisions and style of leadership.

How do Gallup talents stabilise leadership style?

Gallup talents help us understand how a leader makes decisions and reacts to tension within the team. As a result, they stop interpreting their reactions as a weakness and start seeing them as part of their own leadership style.

Importantly, a talent profile remains relatively stable over time. It is therefore not about changing one’s talents, but about developing and consciously utilising them. I describe this mechanism in more detail in the article “Can Gallup talents change?”.

A leader’s self-confidence is more stable when it is based on an understanding of their own talents, rather than on trying to fit in with other people’s styles.

The myth of the universal leader – why copying others weakens leadership

In many industries, there is still a perception of a leader who should be a visionary, an excellent executor, an inspiring speaker and an empathetic team leader all at once. In practice, very few people possess the natural aptitude for all these roles simultaneously.

That is why many managers start comparing their leadership style with that of other leaders and try to conform to what seems like a more ideal management model.

The trap of ideal traits

I have observed that leaders with fewer dominant talents in the influence domain often feel less confident compared to those who naturally attract attention and can inspire an audience.

Meanwhile, the real value of task-oriented individuals often lies elsewhere:

• Stability of action,
• consistency in achieving goals,
• seeing projects through to completion.

When a leader tries to copy the style of others, they very easily lose their greatest advantage – authenticity and a natural leadership style

The energy cost of pretending

From a psychological point of view, acting against one’s natural predispositions requires significantly greater effort. The leader begins to invest energy not only in achieving the team’s goals, but also in maintaining a leadership style that does not come naturally to them.

In the long run, this leads to fatigue, a loss of concentration and reduced effectiveness in decision-making. Instead of developing their own strengths, the leader tries to conform to other people’s patterns of behaviour.

A far more effective approach is to develop one’s own talents and build a leadership style around them.

Copying the style of other leaders rarely leads to more effective management. Developing one’s own talents and building leadership based on natural aptitudes yields far greater results.

How to build self-confidence based on Gallup’s talents

When working with leaders during consultations, we often use a simple framework for working with the CliftonStrengths report. It helps move from general knowledge about talents to their practical application.

Step 1: Name it

The first step is to move away from judgements such as:

• “this is my weakness”
• “this is my strength”.

Gallup Strengths results should be treated as a specification of how the mind works.

For example – if someone has the Restorative strength, this indicates a natural tendency to identify problems and streamline processes. In a project or technology environment, this is of immense value.

Step 2: Understand your successes (Claim it)

The second step is to analyse situations in which the leader has been successful.

In many cases, it turns out that key decisions were the result of specific talents at work – even if these had not previously been consciously recognised.

This is the moment when self-confidence begins to be based on a repeatable mechanism, rather than on random successes.

Step 3: Use your talents purposefully

(Aim it)

It is only in the third stage that talents are consciously utilised in day-to-day management.

If a leader does not possess the Communication talent, they do not need to become the most charismatic person in the organisation.

Instead, they can utilise, for example, the Closeness talent to build relationships with employees through one-to-one conversations.

The outcome for the team – a high level of engagement – may be very similar, but the path to achieving it will be tailored to the leader’s natural style. Aligning working methods with the talents of the leader and the team has a huge impact on productivity. I explore this topic in greater depth in the article “How to increase the productivity of a hybrid team?”.

This process allows the leader to move from intuitive management to the conscious use of their talents.

How to stop looking to others and start leading the team in your own style

Research conducted by Gallup University shows that teams working on the basis of strengths are significantly more engaged and productive.

One of the most common turning points when working with leaders is the moment when a manager realises that they don’t have to manage like everyone else.

An introverted leader focused on analysis and strategy can be just as effective as an extroverted visionary. Often even more so – particularly in environments requiring precision and consistent decision-making.

When consulting with leaders, I often refer to this moment as the transition from intuitive management to evidence-based management.

When a leader understands their talent profile:

• They stop apologising for their way of thinking,
• they begin to consciously leverage their strengths,
• and they find it easier to build authority within the team.

It is at this very moment that a leader begins to act based on their natural talents, rather than trying to conform to other people’s styles.

Summary

Comparing yourself to other leaders is one of the quickest ways to lose your self-confidence.

Every leader has a unique set of talents that influences the way they think, make decisions and build relationships within the team. It is this set of talents – not trying to fit the mould of the ideal leader – that constitutes a real advantage.

Building confidence based on facts means understanding your own talents and consciously using them in your day-to-day leadership.

Do you already have your Gallup report, but still feel that you should be a different kind of leader?

Book a free initial consultation, during which we’ll discuss how we can turn your Top 5 into a concrete confidence strategy.